


MAU

by ButteredRainbows



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BurritoAmiright, Crack, DarkNipples, DoesEnglandHaveDarkNipples, MentionsOfFood, Other, SexualMetaphors, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21987232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButteredRainbows/pseuds/ButteredRainbows
Summary: Germany wondered what would be the reason why the meeting would come to a stop today, in short what kind of shit he has to deal with for the tenth time this week. England fighting with France was a common cause and there was that one time America set half of the  building on fire because of fireworks. This time, however, was because of a song; a song about dark nipples.
Kudos: 5





	MAU

**Author's Note:**

> This is just absolute crack after I listened to a song about dark nipples lmao. Here's the [ link](https://youtu.be/MyiGv11I5I8) to the lyric video. I liked it because of the memes lol

Another day at the world convention means another day for all the countries to discuss about timely issues and how to address them, or so Germany thought. Like any other day when all of his fellow countries come together for a meeting like this, Germany knew that it was bound to be halted by reasons ranging from trivial to deadly like England getting in a fight with France or America bringing in fireworks and lighting them up inside the meeting room. 

Today, though it was the sound of music filtering through the closed doors from the hallway. Germany's eye twitched. He could feel the chaos that is about to happen already. It 's just a matter of when. 

From his right, he saw England making a face as their attention were drawn towards the closed door, "What is that God awful sound?" 

"It's Filipino." Spain remarked after listening for a bit. "It must be Philippines, I saw him bringing a boombox for the party later."

"Duuuude, how did you know that it was Filipino?" 

"Really, you don't recognize the language of a country you once colonized?" 

America just shrugged to Which Spain sighed. 

"Well someone go tell him to keep it down. We're in the middle of a meeting." Germany grunted, his gut telling him that this meeting wouldn't be finishing soon unless his fellow countries were not distracted by the music revertebrating from across the hall. 

"I like it. Any idea what it's called?" America announced already bobbing his head to the drumbeat. 

"Let me see if I can decipher some of the lyrics. The titles bound to be there." Spain offered, "There's a lot of food mentioned, like embutido and-"

"I heard burrito!" America piped in, obviously delighted to have understood a part of the song. "I like this song already."

"It seems that the embutido is hungry for that big burrito? What-?" 

"Goodness, implied sexual content! I demand that this provocative noise be turned off immediately!" England cried slamming his fist down the table.

"A Chinese character seems to be included in the lyrics as well." Spain continued. 

"Ahh is that so?" China leaned in, interested at what a chinese name could mean in a song from the Philippines. 

"Si apparently it wants to" Spain paused "water the person's grassy garden. Dios mio . . ."

"What's wrong with watering the garden? It's the reason why it stays grassy no?" Italy chimed in, also bobbing his head to the beat. 

"That YaoMing sure knows how his way around the garden then." Prussia snickered watching his brother slowly start his descent into madness for the tenth time this week. 

"Uhh I think Inglatera may be right. This song has very suggestive themes." 

"Well I like it. The beats catchy." England glared at America, obviously displeased at having to listen to something so profane. 

"Who would ever want to listen to this? It's all autotune and inappropriate lyrics!"

Germany held his head. This is it, it's begun. 

And so it did. 

"Get outta here! You're just sayin that cuz you can't understand the hidden meaning between this work of art."

"What bloody hidden message can you decipher from ridiculing the color of someone's nipples?"

"What? Do you have anything against dark nipples? You know that's kinda...racist."

"W-what? I didn't say anything about-"

"Yeah what do you have against dark nipples England?" Prussia cut in, obviously just wanting to see chaos run its course. 

"I don't-"

"He is probably acting this way because his nipples are dark." France chuckled from down the table. England's neck whipped towards him, his face red from fury. 

"I beg your pardon?!"

"Why don't you show us your nipples then?" America goaded. 

"I AM NOT GOING TO SHOW YOU MY BLOODY NIPPLES!"

"Boooo insecure!!!"

"Show us your nipples, arkadaş, we won't judge. I bet mine is even darker than yours!" Turkey bellowed from laughter from the far end of the table.

"Yeah? I bet mine is darker than yours." Greece stood from across Turkey and eyed him. Turkey took this as a challenge and stood up from his seat as well.

"Oh hoho, are you sure Yunanistan? Knowing you, it is probably just as light as your tolerance for alcohol."

"We'll see about that!" Greece's eye glinted as he grabbed his shirt and ripped it, exposing his buds to the cold office air.  
Turkey did the same and struck a pose, trying to outdo Greece with his show of muscle and well . . . nipples.

Germany was visibly trembling at the other end of the table as he held his head with both hands muttering something along the lines of murder, the possibility of a third world war and maybe taking out his premium stash of tobacco for a well-needed smoke.  
This was going to be another long day.

**Author's Note:**

> MAU is the title of a filipino song that is transcribed as "Maitim ang Utong" which translates to Dark Nipples. The song is basically about a guy who can't wait to dick down a girl named MAUreen(lol get it?) but getting turned off because she has dark nipples. I used to really hate this song because it sounded so ghetto and c'mon so what if a girl has dark nipples, it's still lickable smh. But after watching the lyric video, I actually started to find it funny. They did the right thing using memes to reel people in, they surely reeled me in.


End file.
